In case anyone was still wondering whether or not Finn was adjusting to 'suddenly' becoming a big brother, this may ease your mind.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Doing flips! Literally!
As we bid our time in Accra, Finn has been practicing some aquatic acrobatics.
I am quite impressed! Grandma was blown away! The Canadian judges gave him a 10/10 for perseverance and attitude!
Family Photos
Hello everyone! Jennifer took some beautiful portraits of the three boys, and here is the one that I have managed to upload of the wee ones. More to add to this post as soon as I get Jen's photos organized on my computer!!
Friday, September 18, 2009
The Segal Clan
Hello from 3 Legal Segal boys!!!
Court was yesterday (Thursday), all the way back out to Cape Coast!
We drove out Wednesday, staying at Anomaba Beach Resort. Soggy bedsheets, restless night, then off to court for 8 am sharp...
Six hours later! I walked (ran) away with an Interim Adoption Order, with permission to travel out of the jurisdiction. The boys are legally ours, but the adoption process and final citizenship process will be complete in two years. The boys will land in Canada as permanent residents, and will be able to apply for Canadian passports in two years time.
Although is it is truly worth celebrating, it is incredibly stressful as now I have to start over with Canada Immigration. The interim order means that I cannot directly bestow Canadian citizenship on the boys and get the heck out of dodge. Rather, we now begin the lengthy endurance test of Canadian Immigration, which is in fact how most people who adopt get their children back home. However, those dealing with the High Commission here in Accra have much lengthier processes as the folks here are back logged and are, quite frankly, not very helpful (I think that I have sufficiently waxed on about this in previous posts and emails. Sorry if I am beginning to sound repetitive).
My biggest hope is that I hop through all of these hoops, and that the office of my now beloved MP can help make things faster for us. Right now, we're looking at six weeks (agonizing) IF things go smoothly. My focus is to keep positive and just keep on moving forward. Today I will apply for Part 1 of 3 in the immigration process, apply for the boys Ghanaian passports with their new legal name, and just keep my fingers crossed that things will go well.
Important things: Danaa is feeling much better, despite his apparent hunger strike. Dawin is eating and putting on a serious layer of chubb, which makes both Mom and I giggle with glee when we see rolls over his wee body. Danaa is smiling, playing and interacting with us more and more each day. Still, he is slower to recover and sleeping A LOT. Sleep is good. It is healing.
Hmmm... maybe if Mom and I could get some sleep...! No complaints!
Finn swims like a fish, and has fallen in love with his role as a big brother. He has the chance to fly home earlier with Mom, as he misses Daddy terribly, but cannot bear the thought of leaving his brothers behind. Days go quickly here, and I hope that he looks back on getting to know his little brothers with a great deal of happiness. Hard to say sometimes as it is a big adjustment, but he and I managed to get an hour or so of alone time this morning during their nap (yes!! they finally fell asleep at the same time ! No more tag team baby caring!), so we headed out for a swim and some good chat time. He also requested that I help him write an email to his cousins and friends. Pretty sweet. He rocks my world! A face of joy during stressful times.
Now that it looks like we'll be here for a while, I will begin to investigate some school for Finn, and perhaps locate some babysitters so that the simple act of grocery shopping will no longer be an epic journey, much like I imagine the building of Rome would have been (seriously, it is bizarre how difficult getting places is. It can take one over an hour to drive 5 km to the shopping centre, an hour back or more depending on the flow of traffic). OK, maybe not Rome, but getting to the grocery store makes getting home to Bowen Island on a Friday of long weekend look like a cake walk!
Wish me luck with the passports!!!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
37th
Well, I was all motivated to get blogging on a regular basis, but ended up landing in the 37th hospital for the last three days. Danaa's fever reared up to a pitch (over 42 degrees), so off we went to the hospital.
Now, for all of my life long desires to be in Africa, to live some kind of experience here, I can honestly say that I need to be much more careful for what I wish for.
37th is a military hospital. It was an intense experience, to say the least, and I don't want to wax on an on about how I feel about what I saw there, because I feel like that would degrade the real grief that I was witness to. A witness to two infant deaths, while I was watching my own wee one get better with each moment. Worse than watching the two mother's lose their infants, the response that the other mother's had to those who had lost was harder to bear - they had death spirits, and no one wanted to get too close. Even I was eager to move myself away, which was impossible because one of the mother's was sitting, sobbing, not two feet from my chair. All I could think about was, please, get me out of here. Fortunately, Danaa soon fell asleep and my own humanity started to creep back in to mobilize me. I could reach out, rub her back, offer her a fresh plastic bag to vomit into, offered her my cell phone (which was totally useless to her), offer her water. She couldn't speak English, and my Twi is limited to Ate sen (which is "how are you", a phrase obviously not appropriate at the moment), Medasse ("thank you", equally useless in this situation) and Dabi ('NO', which was what she was wailing while I sat with her).
So far, I have realized that to live here, either working as part of an NGO, or just because fate dealt you the hand that birthed you upon African soil, you cannot be weak. Africa is not for the faint of heart. AND THIS IS GHANA!!! The crown jewel of this continent. Things are supposed to work here, lives are saved here (which of course they are -- Danaa was febrile when I admitted him, and he is now happily pawing at his twin brother right now), things are supposed to work here.
And I guess that they do. But I am crying tears of happiness today that I am a Canadian, that I am lucky, and that all three of my boys are happy, healthy and obviously wise (of course, with our gene pool, how could they not be!)
So, on a happier note, Danaa is well. Dawin is even better -- and is hilarious. And with the typing of two words, they have both prompty fallen asleep tangled in eachother's limbs -- very cute. They do sleep (when well). It is a amazing. They like a wee snuggle, then PLEASE PUT ME DOWN AND STOP KISSING ME MOTHER!! I NEED MY SLEEP. So as soon as I hear that cry, down they go, and asleep they are. A happy side effect of living in an orphanage for the past 10 months, I'd say.
Being gone from the hotel for three days, I can say that my Mom has never looked thinner, and my two boys under her care have never looked fatter!!!! They've had her running, that is for sure. And if I haven't said it before, my Mother is, in fact, a miracle worker. She has been the calm and steady hand in an absolute tsunami of activity and emotion. I thought that I could probably endure this process solo. What a laugh! There is no chance I would have been able to cope -- not a chance. So thank you Mom! And thank you Dad! Because now my Mom is thinking about extended her time here to give me a few more days to deal with the embassy stuff, and I bet that Dad is likely running low on food. Good thing Michael is an amazing cook and is only a short boat ride away!
In terms of the fun part of traveling, we've done none of that. Our plan is to see a bit of Cape Coast and Elmina after our meeting with the Judge on Thursday. There is a nature reserve a bit past Cape Coast, and pending health of the kiddos, we may go for it. The Volta River and Dam, and perhaps Mole (to see some elephants!) is a possible plan, but we've been incredibly busy just dealing with the day to day. Fingers crossed we'll even get out for a dinner or two (it's been hotel cooking for a week now! No international restaurants... yet)
I'll look for some more pictures to post shortly. Keep thinking of good health, and wish away bureaucracy for us!
Now, for all of my life long desires to be in Africa, to live some kind of experience here, I can honestly say that I need to be much more careful for what I wish for.
37th is a military hospital. It was an intense experience, to say the least, and I don't want to wax on an on about how I feel about what I saw there, because I feel like that would degrade the real grief that I was witness to. A witness to two infant deaths, while I was watching my own wee one get better with each moment. Worse than watching the two mother's lose their infants, the response that the other mother's had to those who had lost was harder to bear - they had death spirits, and no one wanted to get too close. Even I was eager to move myself away, which was impossible because one of the mother's was sitting, sobbing, not two feet from my chair. All I could think about was, please, get me out of here. Fortunately, Danaa soon fell asleep and my own humanity started to creep back in to mobilize me. I could reach out, rub her back, offer her a fresh plastic bag to vomit into, offered her my cell phone (which was totally useless to her), offer her water. She couldn't speak English, and my Twi is limited to Ate sen (which is "how are you", a phrase obviously not appropriate at the moment), Medasse ("thank you", equally useless in this situation) and Dabi ('NO', which was what she was wailing while I sat with her).
So far, I have realized that to live here, either working as part of an NGO, or just because fate dealt you the hand that birthed you upon African soil, you cannot be weak. Africa is not for the faint of heart. AND THIS IS GHANA!!! The crown jewel of this continent. Things are supposed to work here, lives are saved here (which of course they are -- Danaa was febrile when I admitted him, and he is now happily pawing at his twin brother right now), things are supposed to work here.
And I guess that they do. But I am crying tears of happiness today that I am a Canadian, that I am lucky, and that all three of my boys are happy, healthy and obviously wise (of course, with our gene pool, how could they not be!)
So, on a happier note, Danaa is well. Dawin is even better -- and is hilarious. And with the typing of two words, they have both prompty fallen asleep tangled in eachother's limbs -- very cute. They do sleep (when well). It is a amazing. They like a wee snuggle, then PLEASE PUT ME DOWN AND STOP KISSING ME MOTHER!! I NEED MY SLEEP. So as soon as I hear that cry, down they go, and asleep they are. A happy side effect of living in an orphanage for the past 10 months, I'd say.
Being gone from the hotel for three days, I can say that my Mom has never looked thinner, and my two boys under her care have never looked fatter!!!! They've had her running, that is for sure. And if I haven't said it before, my Mother is, in fact, a miracle worker. She has been the calm and steady hand in an absolute tsunami of activity and emotion. I thought that I could probably endure this process solo. What a laugh! There is no chance I would have been able to cope -- not a chance. So thank you Mom! And thank you Dad! Because now my Mom is thinking about extended her time here to give me a few more days to deal with the embassy stuff, and I bet that Dad is likely running low on food. Good thing Michael is an amazing cook and is only a short boat ride away!
In terms of the fun part of traveling, we've done none of that. Our plan is to see a bit of Cape Coast and Elmina after our meeting with the Judge on Thursday. There is a nature reserve a bit past Cape Coast, and pending health of the kiddos, we may go for it. The Volta River and Dam, and perhaps Mole (to see some elephants!) is a possible plan, but we've been incredibly busy just dealing with the day to day. Fingers crossed we'll even get out for a dinner or two (it's been hotel cooking for a week now! No international restaurants... yet)
I'll look for some more pictures to post shortly. Keep thinking of good health, and wish away bureaucracy for us!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Malaria -- bring it.
Back to the doctors today after about our third night in a row of no sleep.
Assuming that Danaa had a worse infection than originally diagnosed, I went in prepared for the worst.
Came out with Danaa on new antibiotics for his ear (he is truly miserable, and the puss has now been oozing out for almost two weeks now).
But oh no. It doesn't stop there! Dawen is now being treated for malaria! He has had a fever for a week, plus some other symptoms, and is now one malaria treatment! Of course, Dawen is likely the most relaxed babe on this planet, and never complained once. I was actually thinking about leaving him back at the hotel with Grandma, but thought what the heck, we'll all go for a totally overpriced taxi ride to the doctors this morning! Good thing I second guessed myself.
Finn is playing in the pool (he does this for about 6 hours a day, then crashed into bed at night!) with Grandma, and I am inside falling asleep on this keyboard! Finn had me in the pool before 8 a.m. today, so I think that I'll sit this one out and try to nap inside with my baby boys.
Wow -- I am just thinking about what I am writing here and realize that I must be super sleep deprived. Beyond their health, not much else matters, except that I have neglected to mention that we have a COURT DATE in Cape Coast next THURSDAY!!!
I plan to head over to the Canadian Embassy on Monday morning to see if I can get a complete list of requirements from the woman handling citizenship & immigration there. Absolutely everyone continues to tell me how brutal our embassy is here, and that I might as well hang up the Christmas stockings because I'll be here a while if I am waiting on anything from the embassy.
Now, that being said, things have a way of working out for us, so perhaps I will go well prepared when I submit my application, and get John Weston's office on the track to ensure a speedy process. Those with political leverage -- give it all you've got!
We'd love to tell you all about Accra, and all of Ghana's beautiful sides, but we've been very limited in terms of our ability to move around. Wee ones will do that to you, especially sick ones. I can tell you that Viggo's pool is awesome, and that the walk from our hotel to Jen's house is lovely. We walk by outdoor kitchens, goats and chickens everywhere, wander down a path with the packed red soil Africa is famous for, then land on a brick sidewalk for a good twenty feet until we reach the gates of Orchid Gardens. Not particularly scenic, but certainly convenient as Finn wants playtime with Viggo pretty much hourly. He has been tough to keep around for snuggles. In fact, Finn has grown up so much on this trip that it breaks my heart a bit to write about it. He is definitely loving his role as a big brother, and proudly puts on a show of his ability to hold his baby brothers (heart in throat when this happens!). I think that the all night crying does get on his nerves, but his response is to say "Mom, my baby brothers are crying again", then he rolls over and goes back to sleep. What a trooper!!!
I hear movement in the crib -- better hustle for a power nap!
Assuming that Danaa had a worse infection than originally diagnosed, I went in prepared for the worst.
Came out with Danaa on new antibiotics for his ear (he is truly miserable, and the puss has now been oozing out for almost two weeks now).
But oh no. It doesn't stop there! Dawen is now being treated for malaria! He has had a fever for a week, plus some other symptoms, and is now one malaria treatment! Of course, Dawen is likely the most relaxed babe on this planet, and never complained once. I was actually thinking about leaving him back at the hotel with Grandma, but thought what the heck, we'll all go for a totally overpriced taxi ride to the doctors this morning! Good thing I second guessed myself.
Finn is playing in the pool (he does this for about 6 hours a day, then crashed into bed at night!) with Grandma, and I am inside falling asleep on this keyboard! Finn had me in the pool before 8 a.m. today, so I think that I'll sit this one out and try to nap inside with my baby boys.
Wow -- I am just thinking about what I am writing here and realize that I must be super sleep deprived. Beyond their health, not much else matters, except that I have neglected to mention that we have a COURT DATE in Cape Coast next THURSDAY!!!
I plan to head over to the Canadian Embassy on Monday morning to see if I can get a complete list of requirements from the woman handling citizenship & immigration there. Absolutely everyone continues to tell me how brutal our embassy is here, and that I might as well hang up the Christmas stockings because I'll be here a while if I am waiting on anything from the embassy.
Now, that being said, things have a way of working out for us, so perhaps I will go well prepared when I submit my application, and get John Weston's office on the track to ensure a speedy process. Those with political leverage -- give it all you've got!
We'd love to tell you all about Accra, and all of Ghana's beautiful sides, but we've been very limited in terms of our ability to move around. Wee ones will do that to you, especially sick ones. I can tell you that Viggo's pool is awesome, and that the walk from our hotel to Jen's house is lovely. We walk by outdoor kitchens, goats and chickens everywhere, wander down a path with the packed red soil Africa is famous for, then land on a brick sidewalk for a good twenty feet until we reach the gates of Orchid Gardens. Not particularly scenic, but certainly convenient as Finn wants playtime with Viggo pretty much hourly. He has been tough to keep around for snuggles. In fact, Finn has grown up so much on this trip that it breaks my heart a bit to write about it. He is definitely loving his role as a big brother, and proudly puts on a show of his ability to hold his baby brothers (heart in throat when this happens!). I think that the all night crying does get on his nerves, but his response is to say "Mom, my baby brothers are crying again", then he rolls over and goes back to sleep. What a trooper!!!
I hear movement in the crib -- better hustle for a power nap!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Our Trio of Boys
OK -- sorry, Richard (and everybody else!!!). Thought you'd follow along our journey, but until recently it has been impossible to find internet!! Or power... or running water... or much to be honest!
Except that I've got our boys! And what a rollercoaster ride!
Our greeting at the orphanage was overwhelming. Epic in proportion, fine poets could scribe, musicians would sing and the world would be overwhelmed right along with us.
But let me start from the beginning:
Our flights on BA were absolutely awesome. So awesome, in fact, that Finn decided to show up in London with less than two hours of sleep under his eyelids. I did not fair much better, nor did my Mom. But by the time we hit the ground in London, we were getting so excited that we needed little more than adrenalin to get us through the layover which was a little less than four hours. No comments re: the worst customs herding I've ever seen -- brutal ques with airport employees shouting, literally shouting at us to keep QUEING!!! Alrightie...
So with a quick visit in Heathrow's departure lounge, we were off to Accra.
Yet another awesome flight. Finn and I were absolutely slack jawed at our hours flying over the Sahara. The interior of the plane grew noticeably hotter, and the red of the desert floor was absolutely awe inspiring. Mom took a walk around the plane to grab the view as well. We ll agreed, whilst wiping the beading sweat off of our brow, that the Sahara is definitely something to be seen, at least from 30,000 feet above!
We all took a brief cat nap, and landed in Accra 3/4 of the way cured from jetlag to Jennifer's huge smile and welcome hug. For all of the drama around our departure, we'd made it at last!
Hilarious bits of 'dashing' (a form of tipping) for the gaggle of guys fighting to assist us with our luggage. How many guys does it take to load 6 bags into the back of a land cruiser? Apparently at least 6, all looking for a few euros! Fortunately, Jen lives very close to the airport, and we arrived in short order to a huge comfy bed, and some sound sleep.
Finn was up and hugging with Viggo and Freja by 6 a.m., and good times ensued. Mom and I slept slightly longer, but not much as excitement was creeping in at every angle. About two hours into our day, I realized that we were nowhere near 3/4 of the way over jetlag!! So the decision to stay in Accra and get acclimatized was made. I headed out to the bank, and to purchase a cell phone. We were now wired for communication, and spent the rest of the day fighting off anticipation and playing with the kids (it seems there are thousands of them around Jennifer's house!! They roam in packs from house to house, happy to stay wherever their is a friend, or at least a parent!).
I did not sleep a wink that night. At close to 4 a.m, I called up Michael, who was out with Julie & Christophe at the oyester bar in Gibsons. We chatted about how anxious I was about the next day, whispering so that I wouldn't wake the rest of the house. I sent a few emails, and found sleep at about 5 a.m. Jen couldn't believe it when I was still asleep at 8 a.m. when she took her kids to school. By the time she was back, we were all ready to hit the road and get out to the orphanage.
But first, we had to get through Accra traffic.
Unless you have seen this, you have NEVER seen traffic like this before. It's like Piccadilly Circus on speed. Hong Kong on caffeine pills. It is the craziest, zaniest, most terrifying rally car race on the planet.
2 hours of that, and we saw a glimpse of the orphanage from a pot holed, red dirt road. The road directly to the orphanage is so pot holed that it is impassable save for the most insane of driver's. We took the longer route, which was torture because the walls of the orphanage were in our eyesight for the full extra four minutes it took to circle the wagon around to the back road.
Naomi greeted us at her gate, babe wrapped to her back, and we could see all of the school aged children sitting waiting for us on their chairs underneath the only tree in the garden. With a HUGE hello in English and Twi, they call came running. I wasn't sure where my Mom was as she was quickly swallowed by about twelve children, but then there she was, left barely standing holding the hands of about six toddlers who were trying to climb her legs and get into her arms for a snuggle from Grandma. Naomi is Mother to all of these children. Grandma's are rare. Rare and an almost extinct concept for these children. It made me think of why Stephen Lewis' Grandmother's for Grandmother's program is ever more important as AIDS continues to savage most of sub saharan Africa.
But onto some happiness! With Finn, overwhelmed, and glued to my arms, Naomi hugged us all of the way to the baby napping room. And there our boys were, and without a second to even hear "catch", I had three boys in my arms, all jockeying for the most comfortable position.
A blessing. Happiness does not cut it, but in it's truest most powerful sense, joy and happiness was overflowing. With the backdrop of this being the orphanage, with so many there, and so much need, I have to admit that it was somewhat confusing, but for more intimate details, you'll all have to wait until I have more time to write (and post some photos!) later tonight.
Except that I've got our boys! And what a rollercoaster ride!
Our greeting at the orphanage was overwhelming. Epic in proportion, fine poets could scribe, musicians would sing and the world would be overwhelmed right along with us.
But let me start from the beginning:
Our flights on BA were absolutely awesome. So awesome, in fact, that Finn decided to show up in London with less than two hours of sleep under his eyelids. I did not fair much better, nor did my Mom. But by the time we hit the ground in London, we were getting so excited that we needed little more than adrenalin to get us through the layover which was a little less than four hours. No comments re: the worst customs herding I've ever seen -- brutal ques with airport employees shouting, literally shouting at us to keep QUEING!!! Alrightie...
So with a quick visit in Heathrow's departure lounge, we were off to Accra.
Yet another awesome flight. Finn and I were absolutely slack jawed at our hours flying over the Sahara. The interior of the plane grew noticeably hotter, and the red of the desert floor was absolutely awe inspiring. Mom took a walk around the plane to grab the view as well. We ll agreed, whilst wiping the beading sweat off of our brow, that the Sahara is definitely something to be seen, at least from 30,000 feet above!
We all took a brief cat nap, and landed in Accra 3/4 of the way cured from jetlag to Jennifer's huge smile and welcome hug. For all of the drama around our departure, we'd made it at last!
Hilarious bits of 'dashing' (a form of tipping) for the gaggle of guys fighting to assist us with our luggage. How many guys does it take to load 6 bags into the back of a land cruiser? Apparently at least 6, all looking for a few euros! Fortunately, Jen lives very close to the airport, and we arrived in short order to a huge comfy bed, and some sound sleep.
Finn was up and hugging with Viggo and Freja by 6 a.m., and good times ensued. Mom and I slept slightly longer, but not much as excitement was creeping in at every angle. About two hours into our day, I realized that we were nowhere near 3/4 of the way over jetlag!! So the decision to stay in Accra and get acclimatized was made. I headed out to the bank, and to purchase a cell phone. We were now wired for communication, and spent the rest of the day fighting off anticipation and playing with the kids (it seems there are thousands of them around Jennifer's house!! They roam in packs from house to house, happy to stay wherever their is a friend, or at least a parent!).
I did not sleep a wink that night. At close to 4 a.m, I called up Michael, who was out with Julie & Christophe at the oyester bar in Gibsons. We chatted about how anxious I was about the next day, whispering so that I wouldn't wake the rest of the house. I sent a few emails, and found sleep at about 5 a.m. Jen couldn't believe it when I was still asleep at 8 a.m. when she took her kids to school. By the time she was back, we were all ready to hit the road and get out to the orphanage.
But first, we had to get through Accra traffic.
Unless you have seen this, you have NEVER seen traffic like this before. It's like Piccadilly Circus on speed. Hong Kong on caffeine pills. It is the craziest, zaniest, most terrifying rally car race on the planet.
2 hours of that, and we saw a glimpse of the orphanage from a pot holed, red dirt road. The road directly to the orphanage is so pot holed that it is impassable save for the most insane of driver's. We took the longer route, which was torture because the walls of the orphanage were in our eyesight for the full extra four minutes it took to circle the wagon around to the back road.
Naomi greeted us at her gate, babe wrapped to her back, and we could see all of the school aged children sitting waiting for us on their chairs underneath the only tree in the garden. With a HUGE hello in English and Twi, they call came running. I wasn't sure where my Mom was as she was quickly swallowed by about twelve children, but then there she was, left barely standing holding the hands of about six toddlers who were trying to climb her legs and get into her arms for a snuggle from Grandma. Naomi is Mother to all of these children. Grandma's are rare. Rare and an almost extinct concept for these children. It made me think of why Stephen Lewis' Grandmother's for Grandmother's program is ever more important as AIDS continues to savage most of sub saharan Africa.
But onto some happiness! With Finn, overwhelmed, and glued to my arms, Naomi hugged us all of the way to the baby napping room. And there our boys were, and without a second to even hear "catch", I had three boys in my arms, all jockeying for the most comfortable position.
A blessing. Happiness does not cut it, but in it's truest most powerful sense, joy and happiness was overflowing. With the backdrop of this being the orphanage, with so many there, and so much need, I have to admit that it was somewhat confusing, but for more intimate details, you'll all have to wait until I have more time to write (and post some photos!) later tonight.
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